Eric shown @ Disted College

Jz back from Eric's Up Close Concert at Disted College..
Have fun n enjoy there..Hehe

Went together with Pling, Phaik Yin n Beow Ling..
Initially still thinking of going or not..A bit lazy..A bit sleepy..A bit moody..
Meow intended to go..So Pling also forced to go..Then I also being threatened to go..Then I tarik PY as well..=P
Met them up at Pulau Tikus Market..Waiting Meow n Pling to finish their "MOI"(porridge)

This pic is taken by PY,trying on my new K800i..Though Meow knew that PY's gonna take photo on her, she still opened her mouth so big XD..

According to PY, she said she sensed that I've changed hp few days ago when she's taking her shower..Do u believe in her?I asked her to guess when did i change my hp..But she couldnt get it right..LoLx..

We went to Disted in Pling's car..Her parking skill is as 'good' as mine..Hahax
Then she pointed to me which's "Sexy"..Erm..For your information, "Sexy" is a guy..N he doesnt look sexy to me..This nick is given by Meow..Meow's taste is a bit weird..Ha!
When we entered the multipurpose hall, there's jz a few people sitting inside..At 1st I still thought that there gonna be a lot of Eric's fans..hrm..Less people is not really a bad thing though..

PY n Pling berebut-rebut to kaji my hp..Since PY will be leaving earlier, so let her kaji 1st lo..If not later she complains to her "Jawa Mee", then ma cham..LoLx
Digi is the sponsor for this mini concert..
So we get some freebies from Digi..the only useful thing inside is the balloon..


Meow's blowing the balloon..

Then here came the photo session..I'm not photogenic at all..But 3 of them are good at camera..
We took some inside the hall..N some around the college compound..
Really got nothing better to do d..
Pling cooked porridge with KK..They really got a lot to pat..They talked till KK's phone out of credit then only end the conversation..Phone back from NZ..Geng~

We even make a star with Eric's face inside..Meow's finger cacat..XD..
Know which one is my finger?My finger is the longest in the photo..hehe..



to be continue...
Upcoming is the performance part..N something unpredictable..

Suki wins One in a Million

KUALA LUMPUR: Form Five student Low Sook Wee, popularly known as Suki, won 8TV’s biggest talent-search reality show, One in a Million (OIAM), last night.

She beat two other finalists – Muhammad Alif Mohd Satar and Ahmad Faizal Mohd Tahir – and clinched the RM1mil prize consisting of cash and a recording contract, that includes collaboration with top producers and artistes, and a marketing campaign.

Met right after the show, Suki said:

“I’m happy and I thank my fans for voting and believing in me. Now that the contest is over, I plan to focus on my studies.


MILLION-RINGGIT VOICE: Suki belting out a song last night.

“I will discuss my future plans with my parents and 8TV when I complete my studies,” said Suki, who won the hearts of viewers with Audi Mok’s original composition Berdiri and pop duo M2M’s Everything.

OIAM, which was first aired on May 26, is different from other talent-search shows as it is open to both amateurs and recording artistes.

Among the artistes who participated in the show was Dayang Nurfaizah, who was voted out in the final elimination round last week.

The contest saw the finalists singing English and Bahasa Malaysia songs.

More than 5,000 hopefuls auditioned for the reality show with hopes of winning the one million prize.

8TV’s Quickie presenter Marion Caunter and Awal Awal Ashaari hosted the show.

What is One In A Million?
OIAM’s prize money is made up of a recording contract that includes production with top-name producers, collaboration with top-name artistes and a marketing campaign. It is the first local talent search reality programme that allows viewers to vote in and vote out the contestants. OIAM is the first local talent-search reality programme that allows viewers to vote for or against their favourite and least likeable contestants.


Before the finale
The finalists
Suki

THE pretty 17-year-old has been taking vocal lessons and a course in music composition since she was seven. As the only Chinese contestant, Suki’s quest to be the champion proves to be a challenge, especially from Faizal.

“It’s an honour to be selected as one of the finalists. I never expected to come so far. Even if I don’t win, it’s a great experience as I have matured so much over the past months,” said Suki who hails from Seremban, Negri Sembilan.

Suki, a pop rock and jazz enthusiast, has performed songs such as Alanis Morissette’s feminist anthem You Ought to Know, Marshanda’s Pasangan Tepat, Shakira’s Underneath Your Clothes and Datin Siti Nurhaliza’s Seindah Biasa.

In the earlier part of the show, Moss commented that Suki did not have what it takes to win the grand prize.

She accepted that as a challenge and will do her best to prove Moss wrong.

Faizal

THE 28-year-old has been having viral fever for three weeks and has not recovered fully yet. Faizal, who holds a diploma in Mass Communications from UiTM Shah Alam, portrays himself as a rocker and has performed songs ranging from Gavin DeGraw’s I Don’t Wanna Be, U2’s Elevation and Bryan Adam’s Summer of ‘69.

Despite enthralling his fans during his weekly performances, Faizal regards Suki as his closest competitor but admits that he can’t dismiss Alif either.

“I haven’t been well so I hope everything will work out all right. It’s amazing that I’ve made it so far and I want to thank all my fans for their support,” said Faizal, who has earned the nickname of “Superman”, because of the trademark Superman t-shirt he wears throughout the competition.

Alif

EASY-going and the youngest of the lot, Alif has shown strong determination. Vibrant, but with a boy-next-door image, he plans to use the prize money to establish a music career and set up a music school for the disabled.

The 16-year-old sees Faizal as his main competitor despite their close bond.

Throughout the elimination process, Alif has performed songs ranging from Sheila on 7’s Pria Terhebat, Rob Thomas’ Lonely No More and Footloose by Kenny Loggins.

“I’m hoping to do my very best and hoping to work closely with the choreographer to come up with something really creative,” said the well-mannered Form Four student from SMK Seri Hartamas in Kuala Lumpur.

What the pros say

WITH the grand finale just hours away, here’s what a few key people have to say about the competition.

Paul Moss has seen positive development in the three finalists. According to him, the trio have potential and are talented singers.

“Suki has shown progress over the past three weeks while Faizal is oozing with confidence. He knows exactly what he wants from the competition and is ready to face all challenges should he win the competition.

“Alif, on the other hand, is someone I still don’t understand. He is talented but I think he would do better as a musical singer.”

Fashion stylist Peter Lum said the finalists will be sporting Armani Exchange outfits ranging from dresses to smart casual wear, depending on their personality.

“Faizal appears like a rocker so his attire would be more of jeans, jacket and t-shirt. And as a treat for his fans, he will be sporting Superman’s apparel specially customised by JT Network PTE Ltd in Singapore.

Suki will be wearing a pastel-coloured dress and a denim outfit while Alif will sport jackets and shirts,” said Lum, who was the stylist for Malaysian Idol.

Vocal coach Mohd Amri Mohd Zain has been busy training the trio. For the past week, he has been training them to improve on their vocal prowess.

“They are talented and creative and they know how to use their vocals to enhance songs.

“Faizal knows how to make the song sound different while Alif has a baritone voice despite his young age. Suki has good vocals and understands the meaning of tone production and dynamics,” said Mohd Amri.

Musical director Aubrey Suwito shares the same thoughts. He said: “The finalists are a talented bunch and will make Malaysians proud. Faizal and Alif have a conscious idea of what they want from the competition.”

Performance coach Michael Voon has been concentrating on the finalists’ performance skills since last week. He explained that they will be presenting two songs – a powerful balled and an up-tempo song.

Hence, he needs to train them to use their mind and emotions to reach out to the audience.

Chinese version

劉淑怡后來居上奪百萬
評審：唱得比原唱好

日期：22/9/2006
時間：9.30PM
地點：太子世界貿易中心
事項：《萬中選一》總決賽

百萬新秀出爐了！來自森美蘭州的Suki劉淑怡，成功在《萬中選一》總決賽中，為自己贏得100萬的獎金，成為大馬歷史上首位擁有100萬令吉作為后盾的新秀！


Suki在過去1個星期至比賽結束前為止，共獲得39％的選票，擊敗大熱門法依沙（Faizal），是大馬史上首位擁有最多投資資金的新秀。

在3位決賽參賽者Suki劉淑怡、法依沙及阿力夫（Alif）當中，以法依沙在現場的呼聲最高，盡管他所得的票數最少而理應被淘汰，但最后他的人氣還是讓他留了下來，繼續與兩人一較高下，但最終仍以34％的選票敗北，而阿力夫則獲得27％的票數。


比賽第二，友誼第一！法依沙（左）雖敗猶榮，與同樣表現出色的阿力夫（右）為Suki送上祝福。

法依沙大熱倒灶

Suki在開場后並沒有太受現場觀眾的注意，相反地，她的勁敵法依沙一出場時即有觀眾高聲歡呼，在他演唱完畢后，觀眾更是站起來鼓掌達1分鐘之久，情緒高昂的他們，甚至喊起了“安哥”，一時之間很容易讓人誤以為獎金已經有了得主。

盡 管如此，Suki每次出場都依然展現出自己最好的一面，她的第1首歌是從未發表過的新歌《Berdiri》，而她在演唱《Everything》時，更被 評審莎菲娜芝評為“唱得比原唱還要好”，唱功不容質疑。當熒幕上的支票上出現了Suki的名字后，就連她本身也露出不可置信的表情，淚水更是一湧而出，應 驗了“不到最后一分鐘都不可以放棄”這句話。

在總決賽中，2位評審保羅摩斯及莎菲娜芝的評語已經對SMS投票成績起不了任何作用，得獎者完全是觀眾投票選出。


左起：第1屆大馬偶像潔奎琳維特、妮達（Nita）、全民偶像李吉漢及絕對SuperStar陳詩莉也到現場為參賽者加油打氣。

劉淑怡：感謝電視觀眾支持


現年17歲的Suki在這半年來一路過關斬將，努力終有了成果。

成功擊敗大熱門法依沙，Suki心情當然十分高興，她非常感謝大家給她機會及相信她的能力。Suki在記者會上接受媒體訪問時，似乎還沒有接受這個事實，她說，此刻的心情真的不曉得該如何形容，只有無限的開心及感謝。

Suki在當晚的受歡迎程度遠遠不及法依沙，她直認不諱地說：“法依沙的表現真的很好，我知道自己的第1首選曲無法引起現場歡眾的共鳴，但我非常感謝在電視機旁的觀眾所給予的支持，希望將來會有更好的成績，不讓大家失望。”

3歲展天賦


劉淑怡的家人朋友拉大隊前來助陣，果然沒有失望而歸！

Suki說，在她3歲的時候，爸媽帶她參加朋友的婚禮，她到了現場后，就搬了張小椅子上台，獻出她在舞台上的第1次。爸媽知道這小娃對唱歌很有興趣，就開始讓她學習音樂。得到100萬獎金后，她還得和爸媽及八度空間商討如何好好運用這筆獎金。

已經有2個月沒踏足校園的她說，比賽完畢第一件事就是要回去上課，接下來她將應付SPM考試。

Suki小檔案：

姓名：劉淑怡
家鄉：森美蘭，芙蓉
出生日期：1989年12月11日
年齡：17歲
身高：158公分
能操語言：國語、英語、華語
教育程度：2006年度SPM考生

八度空間：為Suki找唱片公司

日期：22/9/2006
時間：11.45PM
地點：太子世界貿易中心會議室
事項：《萬中選一》總決賽記者會

成功擊敗大熱門法依沙，Suki心情當然十分高興，她非常感八度空間首席執行員阿莫伊贊奧瑪表示，八度空間將會為Suki找尋適合的唱片公司，以100萬令吉的獎金把Suki打造成一位耀眼的藝人，希望她以這100萬賺得更多更多的100萬。

他也指出，統計數字顯示只有18％的觀眾是投淘汰票，82％投支持票，所以，即使把淘汰票也一並計算的話，對結果完全起不了作用。

Andrew Go GO GO~

Malaysian wins HK singing contest

By LI EE KEE

newsdesk@thestar.com.my


THE CHAMP: Tan raising his trophy in triumph after beating 19 other contestants from around the world to win the Golden Mike Award in the International Chinese New Talent Singing Championship in Hong Kong on Sunday.

HONG KONG: Andrew Tan Say Aun proved that Malaysia Boleh when he emerged winner of the Golden Mike Award in the International Chinese New Talent Singing Championship here on Sunday.

He beat Hong Kong-native Gene Kao by 15 points when he picked up a total of 100 marks to win the ward.

Tan, together with fellow Malaysians and Astro Talent Quest (ATQ) winners Anthony Chang and Alison Khor, competed with 17 other contestants from China, Australia, Canada, New Zealand and the Netherlands.

Contestants were shortlisted to six after the first round of competition before it was narrowed down to two. The two finalists then had to undergo three challenges to test their vocal abilities and audience rapport.

At the end of the challenges, both contestants were awarded points by the 12 judges, comprising established entertainers such as Eason Chan, Joey Yung, Lui Fong, Denise Ho, Kay Wong, Jordan Chan, Samuel Tai and Chelsia Chan from Hong Kong, Taiwan’s Harlem Yu and Jiang Mei Qi, China’s Hins Cheung and Michael Wong from Malaysia.

Tan’s win made him the second Malaysian to win the championship after Wong Meng Lee who won in 2004.

The 22-year-old Penangite appeared somewhat dazed when met later during the celebration party. He revealed that after losing the ATQ in Malaysia to Chang, he did not put much hope of winning in Hong Kong.

“When Anthony was announced the winner and I only managed to get first runner-up at the ATQ, I was disappointed. So I didn’t think I would win in Hong Kong. And after the ATQ competition, I told myself not to put so much importance on winning and losing. I just worked hard and tried my best,” he said.

Of his plans after this, Tan, who is a freelance make-up artist and trainer, said he hoped to learn music.

“I’ve always loved music but there has never been time to learn it. I’m giving myself two years to learn, for instance the piano, guitar and drums. I do want to release an album but we’ll see what happens. I want to take it step-by-step,” he said.

With his win, Tan goes home with more than HK$10,000 (RM4,800) in cash and prizes.

The International Chinese New Talent Singing Championship, organised by TVB8, started in 1981 with the aim of discovering new music talents.

Actually when come to final two round..It's obvious that Andrew is better than the HK contestant..But was jz worry about the judges who mostly are HK artists will be unfair in their judgement..There were 3 rounds for the final..First of all is singing with the background music might change to various types-Jazz,Fast beat,Slow beat,no music etc..The song was liu2 xing yu3..This round feel like HK contestant is a little better as Andrew get some lyrics wrong but not the beat..The 2nd round was damn funny..They need to sit on the OSIM chair--iGallop which will vibrate and sing..
It's like riding a horse according to the MC that night..It seemed like an easy task for both of that which didnt affect their performance though there's vibration getting on them..It gets even obvious for the very last round where the contestants need to use their performances to create a kind of atmosphere n bring out the climax..Andrew did really well in this..Andrew get a perfect score of 100..That's really amazing..The total score should be 108 as there were 12 judges n the highest mark they could give was 9..so 9 X 12 = 108..Hahax..But 100 sounds more perfect..

It's really wasted for Anthony..Dont know what the hell he's trying to do..Why he did he choose that song to perform in the 1st round?That song could show his vocal nor his talent at all..Sigh..Kinda disappointed..He has come so far but jz like giving up by himself..whereas That gal, Pei Shan is obviously weaker and too gan cheong d..So her performance was also a no no..At first think that..Aihz..Cham d..M'sia no hope d..As Andrew was the 1st contestant to sing..N usually the one come out 1st wont get a good impression..Hrm..Luckily the judges werent blind..

This year they added one award to this competition..which was favourite contestant award voted by people through SMS..This award is apparently to suck the people's money..This award is not necessary at all..For sure everyone will jz vote n support the contestants from their own country..This award is as if using money to buy it..N the thing that freaked me out was that..Anthony appeared as the award winner..So damn dot dot dot..Dont know how much his friends n family spent on that..*Speechless*

For your information, all the judges are artists..So they get to perform in between the competition..Among all..Harlem n Eason's performances are most enjoyable..

N one more thing..It's like a tradition that those who usually get 1st runner up in the Astro Talent Quest in Malaysia will end up achieve better results in the international level..LoLx..It has happened so many years without failed d..Dont know what's wrong with that..It seems to be like a curse huh..

Read from Chinapress that Anthony is a former student of Jit Sit B'worth High School..I couldnt find that article on that press website..Maybe they didnt put this article up..It's about an interview with Andrew's family..According to the paper, his mother said that Andrew never take up music lesson..All the singing technique is learnt by himself n he got the talent since small..There's a picture where it shows Andrew's trophies..Woohoo..So MANY..Each of the trophy also tall tall one..Geng a~There's also a class photo of Andrew taken during form 5..He was the monitor..He's like the giraffe..Apparently tallest among his classmates..

Below is another article, reporting about the competition in Chinese with comments by some of the judges..

陳世安100分奪金
帶動氣氛．應變快．平穩

日期：17/9/2006
時間：7PM
地點：TVB電視城
事項：《2006年TVB8全球華人新秀歌唱大賽》


大馬的陳世安終于打破二奶命，以平穩的表現獲得評審的垂青，成功擊敗來自各國的選手獲得“TVB8全球華人新秀金麥克風”大獎，使大馬再度揚威《全球華人新秀歌唱大賽》！

在TVB8 及Astro的邀請下，大馬媒體出席採訪于香港舉行的《2006年TVB8全球華人新秀歌唱大賽》。繼王明麗后，陳世安成為第2位獲得《全球華人新秀歌唱 大賽》最高榮譽的大馬選手，雖然沒有一鳴驚人的表現，但陳世安在眾多參賽者中明顯地具有個人特色，以穩健的表現一路過關斬將，不負眾望脫穎而出，他在演唱 得獎歌曲《你不在》時更哽咽落淚。


姜寧“別樹一格颱風獎”（左起）、“大無畏挑戰獎”王來穎、“TVB8全球華人新秀金麥克風”陳世安、“完美音色大獎”高遠及“短訊人氣獎”鄭偉康。

為隆重其事，TVB8今年特別請來了多位歌手擔任評審，包括陳奕迅、庾澄慶、容祖兒、何韻詩、光良、呂方、張敬軒、陳小春、邰正宵、陳秋霞、黃韻玲及江美琪，並由李浩林、胡蓓蔚、胡斌及楊秀惠擔任大會司儀。

當晚選手都實力相當，由于只有6位選手可以進入第2回合，所以在成績宣佈那一刻，所有人都緊張得屏住了呼吸，結果大馬的鄭偉康及許慧珊不幸出局，陳世安是唯一進入6強的大馬選手，他的自選歌曲為《你不在》及《耿耿于懷》。

陳 世安在挑戰評審的環節中選擇與光良合唱，並與呼聲頗高的中國香港選手兼“翻版張信哲”高遠一起進入最后2強。雖然在第3環節中他頻頻忘詞，但勝在應變能力 很快，而且成功以一曲《YMCA》帶動現場的氣氛，評審都給了他很高的分數，最終他以完美的100分為自己贏得“金麥克風”大獎，高遠的分數是85分。


哈林（左）與陳奕迅的鬼馬演出，引來全場笑聲。

眾歌手更為大家獻唱，其中以金曲歌王哈林及陳奕迅的合唱最為有火花，鬼馬的兩人抒解了現場緊張的氣氛，現場都被他們的動作表情逗得哈哈大笑。

姜寧以一首爆發力十足的《Yes Or No》獲頒“別樹一格颱風獎”，王來穎當晚挑戰評審陳小春成功，兩人默契十足的爆笑短劇讓她獲得了“大無畏挑戰獎”，而外表及笑容都那么親切的鄭偉康則獲得“短訊人氣獎”，“完美音色大獎”由“翻版張信哲”高遠獲得。

榮耀榜
金麥克風獎：陳世安（大馬檳城）
別樹一格颱風獎：姜寧（中國天津）
完美音色大獎：高遠（中國香港）
大無畏挑戰獎：王來穎（荷蘭鹿特丹）
短訊人氣獎：鄭偉康（大馬沙巴）

鄭偉康：表現失准

得到“短訊人氣獎”的鄭偉康直呼很意外！他非常感謝投他1票的大馬觀眾，因為他覺得2令吉1個短訊很貴，但他還是很開心可以得獎。對于自己當晚的表現，他直認自己表現失準，在落敗那一剎那心情還真的有點失望。

許慧珊：滿意表現

許慧珊雖然對自己的表現非滿意，並給自己70分，但還是無法晉級。“我覺得自己唱得比綵排時好，唱完后還聽到有人喊說很好，有人說看得出我很用心在唱，才知道真的有用心在看我的表演，所以印象非常深刻。”

鄭偉康可就沒那么幸運，他在香港的第1天就遺失了錢包，給果還得向香港警方報案，但他還像個小孩似的嚷著要去迪士尼樂園玩，好像沒發生過這回事一樣。

他們兩人還向大馬媒體爆料說，陳世安在香港為新秀大賽宣傳時，吸引了小妹妹向他要簽名哦！

陳世安：努力做好自己

以平常心來對待比賽，陳世安終于贏得了他要的冠軍！他坦言在大馬的落敗讓他很痛苦，所以這次他只要努力地把自己做好，沒想到卻因此勝出。

“最后一個環節時我真的很緊張，心裡又開始想要贏了，但我又得壓抑那股衝動，直到我看到分數時，才告訴自己是時候了！”他說，在他最沒有信心的時候，他聽見其他的新秀都在為他加油，讓他在比賽之外，找到了更珍貴的友情。

他說，當天的評審都是他的偶像，都是很難才可以見到的藝人，讓他一直要在心中找到平衡點。他很感謝可以被評審肯定，尤其是當評審對他笑的時候，他更感到無比的幸福。至于為何會選擇與光良合唱，他說因為大家都是大馬人，而他本身也很欣賞光良的才華。

到現在還搞不情自己到底贏得了多少獎金獎品的他說，希望把獎金作為在音樂路上進修的用途，他目前最大的心願就是學習不同的樂器。對于“終于打敗”了鄭偉康一說，他謙虛說只是現場的狀況及評審的口味讓他有勝出的機會。

庾澄慶：有感染力

哈林在陳世安演唱《YMCA》時，非常投入地跟著節奏搖擺，並給陳世安打了9分。他說，他給分數最主要還是看整體表現、唱歌的情緒及感染力。

“我不戴耳機聽他們唱，因為唱歌時的情緒及感覺很重要，耳機顯得太仔細了。表演者不可以自己太high，這樣反而會讓自己破功（走音）。今天聽到了很多張學友和阿哲，但有自己風格的選手分數還是會比較高。”

他說，唱錯歌詞無所謂，要注意的是與觀眾的互動，表現出自己真正的情緒，感覺還是最重要的。他開玩笑說，聽耳機除了感受不到現場氣氛外，還會壓壞了他的髮型哦！

陳奕迅：嗓子好

陳奕迅給陳世安的分數也有9分之高，他贊對方的嗓子很好，恰好成功地利用了上天給他的這個天賦。“他的聲音很特別，不會太花巧或太over，我是直接給分的，因為我比較狠。”

他說自己很認真在打分，而且並不太欣賞高遠的《YMCA》，因為讓人吃不消，反而陳世安唱了讓他覺得很舒服。

Hard Time

Upload music at Bolt.

Sigh..
I guess it's time to write out the harsh feelings in my heart..
I don't know where to start writing..
It seems like I've never really wrote anything about love over here..

Many people seem to know about the break-up though I didn't tell many about this..
N I'm sure for the people that I told..They wont spread my stuff around..
Whatever ler..Soon or later the rest will know..
I jz dislike people come ask about it..
Cz I dont know what to say..
Perhaps, I'll jz be able to confess to those I'm closer with n feel secure to talk with..
But, it's really hard to talk through voices..
I felt so hard to type out..So dont mention about talking it face to face..

Everyone jz feels shocked about it..
Did it happen all in a sudden?
I dont know..But I've been thinking about this for 2 weeks..
After coming back from the Genting trip especially, I've been thinking a lot..Real lots..
I feel like there are many things in him that I couldnt tolerate with..
His thinking..His attitude..His behavior..His talking..His way of life..
I knew clearly that he treated me well..very very well..
But sometimes, I jz couldnt endure his action..
Other people might think that he is funny, entertaining..But I dont feel the same way..
I was unhappy n even angry about his fooling action..Somehow feel ashamed about it..
If u r his coursemates or frens, u would know what I mean n how the situation looks like..
At least when I was venting the frustration to my frens..They said they understand how i feel..
If u r not..N u couldnt imagine it..That's alright..Jz forget abt it!
Sometimes, I really couldnt bear with his mindset..
Perhaps my fren was right..This is his nature..He has been brought up n taught to be the way he is now since small..so I can't blame him for how he acts today
There is no way for me to change him in jz a few months time..So I can either to accept some part of it and hope he'll change for the better or to reconsider abt this relationship..
Nobody is perfect!
I know clearly about this..But i jz hope that he will be my Mr. Perfect jz like what I alwiz dream of..
I'm indeed hoping too much..

It is difficult for two people to be together..The most basic one is to have special feelings bond between that two very ppl..Even they have the same interest,same mindset,but they're still two different ppl from different education backgrounds n living environment..
Hence, toleration plays a very important role in this..
N I admit that..I failed in this matter..
It needs a lot of time n effort to understand one another..to maintain the relationship..
I'm asking too much..Hoping too much from him..
I get disappointed whenever he repeated his mistakes..
Though it's jz some small matters which occured before, I get frustrated with his behaviour easily..
Everything he had done jz seemed not right in my eyes..
Ended up..I kept on ignore him rather than to angry..
Even he didnt do anything wrongly, I also ignore him..
I was getting more n more over..
This is not the way a couple should be like..
I knew he suffered..N so do I..
When a guy breaks down n cry..It means that he is very hurt..
I shouldnt be hurting him..He is so innocent..
I felt like my feelings towards him started to fade day by day..
Somehow, I jz couldnt hate him n so I began to turn to hate myself..
I hate myself for hurting him so much..but I jz pretended like nothing's wrong..
At last, I couldnt tahan myself for being so selfish..being such a bad gf..treating him in such a terrible way..
I thought I've made my mind clear enough to decide on the irretrievable decision..
With all the courage I have, I jz blurted out my decision..
I cant stop crying after that..
My heart was so painful..More painful than I thought..


The next two days, he tried to save this relationship..
But I jz ignore it completely..I jz stand firm with my stance..
How mean I am..
Sigh..I didnt really consider abt what he say..
Cz I felt like he doesnt deserve the 2nd chance as I've given him a lot..
3 days after that, he seemed pretty well in his mood..
He can joke, talk, sing like he used to do..
As if there's nothing happen to him..
I actually could not accept the fact that he is recovering faster than me..
I thought that it wont be that hurting for me as I was the one that initiate it..
But somehow..It's jz the other way round..


Before separated, my mind jz full with everything I dislike about him..
After separated, all the sweet memories kept floating in my mind..
Every night, I only managed to sleep after a long cry..
Slept for 2 or 3 hours n is time to wake up n go to college..
I was very tired..But I still couldnt let it go..
My friend said that I was too serious in love..N that made me couldnt let go..
Love is not everything..Love shouldnt be dominant in life..
But..It is not what I can decide on..It comes to dominate my mind itself..
I've so many free hours at college this week..
N I jz couldnt think of what to do..where to go..who to join..
So I trapped myself in the library..trying to do some maths or revision..
But I jz cant get rid of the feelings..
I felt like I'm so lonely..jz all alone..
N I jz realise that..I've let someone that accompany me all the while walk away in my life myself..
I thought I will live on well without him..
But I was jz so so wrong..
I was so dependant on him..depend almost everything on him..
I know clearly that there is no way that who cannot live without who..
But..I'm experiencing this..
I feel so helpless..I'm so scared..
When he's around, I felt so uneasy..
I kept avoiding him in college the whole week..
I was like got the instinct knowing that he would be at somewhere..N I was right..So I had to walk away by using other path..
I jz cannot face him..I dont know how to face him..
I'm afraid to know that..I still......
I'm afraid that..I cannot control my tears when meeting him..
I'm really contradicting..
When I cry alone at home at night, I really wish that I can jz hide in his hug..Cry as long as I can..But in reality..I would never have the chance to stay in his heart anymore..
When he tried to reconcile the relationship, I jz shut him out of my way..
I dont know what was on my mind that time..
I jz think that I shouldnt be so soft hearted or what so ever..
On the other hand, I'm jz afraid to admit that I need him badly..
I admit that I'm too impulsive when making that decision..

All the Memories kept haunting me..
I still need to cry for how many nights?

Many told me that what I need is time..To heal the pain..
Everything will be fine in few days..weeks..months..
Try to occupy myself with other stuff..
Dont allow myself have the time to think so much..
When feel like crying..Jz cry..Crying can release the stress n pain..
Let this to be the period to recall all the memories that we have gone through..
Try to move my attention to something else..Eg-Change my priority to studies..
Mix with more people..Talk to people..Open up ur heart..
Etc Etc..
I'm trying hard to follow what u guys tell me..
I know it takes time..I know I gonna be okay..But not so soon..
Give me sometime..
I need to overcome the feeling in myself..Not to avoid him..This is the major thing..
I also hope that I can be like the others..who manage to 'Zai4 jian4 yi ran2 shi4 peng2 you3'..
Thanks to those who care n concern abt me..
Who are willing to lend me their ears to listen to me..
Who give me advice n ask me to be strong..
Sincerely thx a lot to Seong Ling, Hun Hao, Kyloon, Phooi Sin, Zi Xiang, Zyang etc..
A big thank you to the one who accompany me, help me, take care n love me for 5++ months..
After raining, there gonna be a nice rainbow across the sky..'yu3 hou4 cai3 hong2'

I believe that I jz need a little more effort..struggle through this period of time..N I'll be alright..

I'm unsure of what I have done is right or wrong..
I dont wanna think about it anymore..
Before this, I kept thinking of what I really want..
Now..I guess I know what is it..But is too late..
Even if it's wrong..Even I feel regret..Every that has been done cannot be undone..
After going through some hard times, the good one will come to me soon..
Yea..I jz have to believe in myself..
Can I?
Is this what I really hope for?
I don't know..
It is left unknown..

Rainy Day + Monopoly + A Visit to Leela's hz

Jz now was really scary when driving from college back to home..
Actually my class ended at 3..
But feel like going to the Physics extra class due to my terrible results..
Moreover it was raining..I didnt bring my umbrella..
So I thought that it might stop raining after the physics class at 5pm..

I've one hour of free time as I dont have class from 3-4pm..
Went to DSA to play Monopoly..
Hahax..These days many people visit the DSA more often than ever..
As Leela's absent on medical leave for the whole week, we've at least one free hour everyday..
By the speed of playing n technique to gain more profit, u would noe that these guys have been playing this game numerous time..
It's simply amazing..
Even auction also being carried out in the play..a bit swtz..
By 20 bucks, u can own a land..
N they also cooperate with one another, try to earn money n dominate properties together..
When come to the time when hotels are built everywhere, they even cheated by selling all their assets to their so called partner by one bucks..This is done as a precaution if they were to step on any hotel n they can declare bankrupt without losing any assets..Cheating one huh..
I cooperated with Wee Hean..N shard the profit together..hrm..I was really broke initially, my money was not even a 2 digit number..All thx to Wee Hean who asked me to use all my money for building hotels..Crazy huh..
An hour later, I need to stop to attend Physics class..So I duno what's going on after that..
I did ask Xiang Jie to play the part for me..But I saw him leaving soon after I left..
Tomorrow only ask the others ba..
Aiya..Not important..It's just a game..But I think they shouldnt play in this way..It's all about skills in cheating..It might happen in reality..Bu4 Ze2 Shou3 Duan4 in order to success..

About the Physics class..Apparently, Mr Leong teaches better than Ah Choo..
I was quite attentive in class..Though after sometime I will be distracted by some thoughts..
Perhaps this is an extra class that I'm willng to attend..So I'll concentrate when the lesson is going on..
This is like what happen during my high school time..
Sometimes, it's not because of the school teachers dont know how to teach..(Well, undeniably, there are some teachers really dont know how to teach..)
But we still take tuition after school..
We will pay more attention to something extra..where the stuff we need to pay extra n we will feel that it's better..
Extra means better?
Ha!It's not necessary la..
Anyway, there are people who think that Ah Choo teaches pretty well..Erm, I dont agree with that but not gonna argue on this..Different people have different understanding skills..N my is poor..So I need a comprehensive explanation..N not this u all should noe, so I'm not gonna elaborate one this or go find out urself..

After the class, it's STILL raining..Oh gosh~It's even heavier than 3pm..
But I could not wait any longer..If not after the office hour, it will be damn traffic jam at Green Lane..
By the time I got into my car, I was completely wet, except my hair..>.<..Cz I used Hun Seang's newspaper to cover my head..So it's like useless for covering..What for to protect the hair from getting wet..Swtz
After using tissue to wipe up, only I started the engine..
Woohoo~It's so misty..Hardly see anything..
Hun Seang was like kinda scared of me..
Kept asking me to stop by the road n let him to drive..
Dont confide in me huh..
Aiya..Drive slowly will do lo..Nothing one la..
There was a bus when passes by my car, it splashed the water with mud onto my screen..
That time really couldnt see anything..
Both of us jz screamed..Hahax..Outside the car was misty..Inside the car was another misty..(Hrm..My mum jz told me need to press something in order to clear the mist inside the car..)
This was worse than last Tuesday..Today it was like the whole PG was pouring heavily..As if the island was gonna sink(Haha..Not to that extend..)
BUT it's raining everywhere..
Normally I spend around 15 minutes to reach home..
Today..Plus fetching HS home..I used 40 min only reach home..
Muz put my umbrella into my bag d..Dont wanna become luo4 tang ji again..

Oh ya..Visited Ms Leela during lunch break..
Before visiting Leela, we went to Tesco..Swtz..They broke my record for I never go to Tesco in PG before though it has been commenced on business for 2 years time..
Aihz..1st time jz wasted like tat..Go there for the fruits n McD..Swtz..Well..Jz Pretend that I never go before..Kaka~
Leela is still kinda weak..She stll cannot climb the stairs..She got no voice to talk also..Though kinda hate her last time n even now, but still sympathize her..Jz went through appendix operation..N get lung infection soon after the operation..Sigh..Once human enter certain age, all sort of sickness will come along..
She greeted us with a smile on her face..But still cant hide her tiredness..
Well, her house is cooling..The environment is nice too..Sth bad is that heard that there are many stray dogs in the area..
Hope that she will get well SOON..
But guess she wont come to college so soon ler..She seems to be so sick..
Our Chemistry still need the help of hers..Sigh..When she comes back, dont know gonna have how many replacement classes on Chemistry d..Cham cham

24-hour Image

What is the longest period that you can stare on a picture?
The following picture can allow you to view for one whole day, experiencing the changes from day to night in 24 hours..
This is a production from Korea..It's a creative and fine picture!

Scroll down slowly n enjoy =)

Vomit

Vomited last night..The reason is unknown..
In my memory, I did vomit a few times..

From Wikipedia, vomiting is the forceful expulsion of the contents of one's stomach through the mouth. Vomiting may result from many causes, ranging from gastritis or poisoning to brain tumors, or elevated intracranial pressure.

The 1st time i remember was because of having medicine..
Guess most of u dont know that I couldnt swallow tablets medicine since small till now..*Shy Shy*..Wondering how I eat medicine?The method is by munching..Till it breaks into tiny little pieces..That's why I say that I've eaten the most bitter thing in the world..It may be a breeze for most people to swallow medicine..But I jz couldnt..N so sick is very suffering for me..

I vomit when I cough terribly too..
That jz happened once..That time feel like dying..Coughing n vomitting come at the same time..U would not want experience it..Jz imagine the porridge u've jz ate is eliminated through ur mouth when u r having a high fever..Argh~

The last one is I cry till vomit..
Maybe is because of being emotionally provoked or whatever..I jz dun understand why crying will cause vomiting..

Sigh..Last night..A rainy night..
Slept at 3sth a.m. But awoke 2 hours later when I found difficulty in breathing n swallowing saliva..That time I still thought that I was in dreamland, having some sort of nightmare..Well, people tend to 'mong mong cha cha' when jz awake yea..The next moment, I was at toilet, in front of the basin..N started vomiting..I didnt switch on the light, so I duno what was the contents..Duno by how, my mum awoke n came to find out what's happening in the toilet..I couldnt talk..I was really exhausted..It's not an easy task to excrete stuff from stomach to mouth..The very last thing I ate the night before was bird nest..Perhaps, my body tends to reject the so called nutritious food..I really dun like to eat abalone n other 'luxurious' food..I was so resisted when my mum asked me to have the bird nest..But she said: "Only after u've finished it, u r allowed to bed"..Guess she'll never ever force to eat anymore..

Though there is no actual prove of the reaon that made the occurance of vomiting..Phew~Whatever it is that led to vomiting, at least I wont need to eat bird nest anymore..

Currently, still have no appetite to put anything in my mouth..Didnt finish my lunch either..My mum said that my face looks very pale..Hope it will be better soon..

Escapism

Sigh..These days kept feeling bored..

Nothing can really bring my mood back except playing some childish games..
But each game can only attract me for awhile..the longest is a few hours..
Beside watching drama n playing games, I feel like nothing I can do n I wanna do..
整个人都变得很颓废．．
谁来救救我？



I've been thinking a lot recently..
I was like finding excuses for myself to do this n that..
I jz wish to escape from my present life..
In life, some people chase for career..for money..for reputation..
Some do everything for the sake of the family..
Some uses the whole life to seek for their true loves..
What is my purpose in life?
Perhaps, my aim in life is jz to search for the purpose..
A purpose that I wouldn't know till the end..

我只想逃．．走得越远越好

逃亡 孙燕姿

踩著月光打开车窗
离开这城市想找个解放
一路开往最高那一座山
孤单的想像寂寞的逃亡
我想是偶尔难免沮丧
想离开想躲起来
心里的期待总是填不满
我看著山下千万的窗谁不曾感到失望
就算会彷徨也还要去闯
关于未来只有自己明白
不想让心情被现实打败
一路开往最高那一座山
孤单的想像寂寞的逃亡
我站在靠近天的顶端
张开手全部释放
用月光取暖给自己力量
才发现关于梦的答案
一直在自己手上
只有自己能让自己发光