Party Stress

Stress stress stress..
Sigh..
If u do chat with me recently, you definitely would know what's coming up this Friday..
A 3-in-1 party..
Sounded cool? Unique? Fun?
To me, it's not cool, not unique and not fun either..It's totally stressful..
I've got so many things to handle..
Making explanations to people really make me feel very tempered..
I really wish that someone could actually read my mind..or at least know the purpose of things when I'm doing it..n not jz asking why..
Sadly, there's not much such people out there..

What KK said is correct..
I'm doing something called EVENT n not PARTY..
This is not something that one person can plan from head to toe..
But I'm doing it..
N I hope I really can make this event a perfect one..which is totally impossible..
I'm jz simply too naive..
Things never turn out the way I hope..they wont go according to plan perfectly..
I'm not supposed to do all this..
I should be the one enjoying the party..
Somehow I think if this party is solely about my birthday party, then it would be much easier..
Now, I 'm like having to cater to everybody's need..
I'm just a human...an ordinary teenager...
Sometimes, the word "Fucked off" almost blurted out from my mouth..
"Come if you want..If not, just shut ur mouth up!"
This kind of things I really wish I can say it..But I've no guts..
What I can do is just keep n keep n keep the troubles back to myself..
I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings jz because of a party..
But I guess I have done so without knowing about it..
Especially my mum..

Aihz..Since I suggested for this 3 in 1 party, I've already got a lot of complains n nagging from my mum..
Thanks a lot to my creativeness..to my kaypo-ness as well..
She's right.. I'm too busy body d..
I understand that the reasons she's unhappy with all these..
It's not that she doesnt want to offer any help..
She jz doesnt want me to get involved in something that is too huge..which will bring me into such great stress that I'm encountering in..
I've done such things for many times in my life..n for each time, countless arguments occur..
K..I need to promise myself..I'm not gonna involve in such thing anymore..
To the least, I shall not take up the most responsibility..

Initially the plan isnt like that..I'm not responsible for so many stuffs esp the bbq..
But in the end, I'm doing the most..
Not to say that others didnt do anything..
I understand that some got classes, some stay in BM, some are having their exams around the corner, some are not even in PG these few days..
That's why I will feel like helping out which I thought I can..
Perhaps, I really can..But just too many things come about..N make things seem difficult..

PQ did ask me to get help from the rest..
It's not that I didnt u noe..But how many people are willing to help?

U have to understand that it's not easy to get help from people n yet they are capable in doing..
If they are asking their parents to help them, then I might as well do it myself..
I dont want to get parents involved in this case..
If not, I wil jz ask my parents, my grandma, the maids to help out..things will be like jz a breeze afterall..
We are 19 this year..I hope to be more independent..I dont wanna rely on adults so much..
However, I still couldnt make this come true..
Whenever I get objections, I feel so small..so helpless..
What I need is only some support from people..
Please dont accuse that I will fail in doing it before I really carry out the task..
That really makes my spirit down..
At times, I really feel like cancelling everything off..

Sigh..Just dont bother about this post if it got nothing to do with you..
And if it does, hopefully this doesnt cause any hard feelings..
I jz couldnt bear with the stress in myself..n so feel like expressing it out..

I sincerely hope that things will jz be fine tomorrow..not as worse as what are in my mind..
If it really can be a success, I've got lots of gratitude work to be done after the whole event..

So see you guys tomorrow..n hope u all do have fun!