After all the festive seasons has over, many things have been bothering me these days.
Nothing seems to show positive sign to me.
Seriously, I mean everything.
Been quarreling more than ever with my parents.
I just don't like it if you arrange sth without even informing me.
Perhaps parents always have superior thoughts, but I'm not a slave.
I have the right at least to know, to say yes or no.
Love life isn't that bright nor lively..
I've lost my mind on communication..
Perhaps a heart2heart talk soon would solve the problem..
Been trying to hold on to optimism..but confident can be seen no where..
Once volcano is exploded, nothing could revert back and the ugly side would be revealed..
As for study, although I'm still on my summer break, but my brain doesn't have the chance to rest peacefully..
The optional stream has caused me lots of worries..
Even had nightmare about it..everyone is so 'sustainably processed'!
Maybe..I should really boast up my confident..believe in my instinct..believe tat I'll be able to handle even if I'm all alone..
I wont be alone for too long till new friends found, right?
I'll never know if I never try..once I've decided then I shall do my best..
***Forgot to mention in the previous post that my senior told me Dr. Ooi has resigned..She is such a nice yet smart lecturer..So good luck peeps!
Another problem is regarding my Australia accommodation.
All the preparation to Aussie is done, except for a place to live in.
Actually hunting a room is not that difficult..the criteria required is jz simply reasonable price, cosy house, near to the uni, safe zone, etc
But it becomes difficult in which we need a house to fit 5 people in it.
1, 2 or 3 bedrooms house can be easily found...but not 4 and above!
The Australians no longer place a friendly impression to me.
Those emails that I've sent out as to request regarding the houses are like 'stones drowning into the sea'..I never get any replies for 70% of them..
Even if there are replies, the replies are terribly short and they don't answer your doubts. All they would do is asking u for inspection.
Didn't I mention that I'm NOT IN AUS right now until Feb?
Grrr~ Geram sangat..
On top of that, my parents think that I didn't try hard enough and I didn't try to ask help from people. Oh Gosh!! I've already been asking around for every single possibility..even asking all my colleagues whether they know anyone in Clayton/ Melbourne right now..
I felt embarrassed enough as some friends are like the 'Hi! Bye!' type.
And you actually think that I'm doing nothing?!
Regretful thoughts, bad dreams have been haunting me..
If I were to know that it's so troublesome staying off campus, I would just apply on campus straight..why I bother saving money for you?
*Scream* *Tears* *Embarrassed*
Ahhh..I need to be optimistic!!!
I cannot be defeated by all the negative things..
天无绝人之路!!
After so much of struggle, finally found someone to inspect the house..*Grateful*
Although he is like a total stranger to me, *finger crossed* I wish things would turn out fine.
As stated in my title, 2 negative(s) would make a positive.
Thus, so many negative(s) that I hv would definitely produce a real good positive impact!
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4 comments:
I can definitely relate to what you're going thru too! I rmb when i first headed to perth, i had no place to live, i had to stay over at my sister's friend's place. it was just so inconvenient i felt so uneasy and uncomfortable staying there. it's really hard to live out of a luggage, knowing that you cannot unpack yet bcuz you haven't found a permanent residence.
furthermore, the place that i was residing in, there were 3 guys and 1 girl, AND the bathroom had NO lock. i felt so insecure of the thought that someone would simple barge into the bathroom when i am halfway bathing. another thing that made me feel apprehensive was that the housemates smoke. it was my first day there and it was one of the most horrible experiences ever. (altho in hindsight, it didnt seem as bad anymore but i know right there and then i just desperately wanted to find a place so i could settle down b4 uni starts)
i was alone, lost, didnt even know how to take public transport to uni.. all i could do was to frantically look for accommodation online. i was frustrated and so i called me mum and complained to her. i had a friend who wanna share room with me and out of rashness (or fear that i couldnt get anywhere else) i told my mum i wanted to share room with her. it was a mistake and as a result my mum got so worried, she called my sister to ask for help as she has lived in Perth before and could therefore gv me some good advice and recommendations. in the end, all i got was NOT solution, but a worried mother and a stressed and temperamental sister. she was already very tired with work, and on the other hand she had my mum calling her urgently asking her to help solve my accommodation problem. obviously, she wasnt too pleased.
actually before i went, a friend of hers also promised (or sorta agreed) to look for an accommodation for me before i leave. as i couldnt come to terms with any of the places that he has found, in the end i still reached there homeless, though he offered a place for me to stay temporarily.. anyway cut the story short, the first night i was there, due to ME, my sister and her friend had some dispute, and the conversation was not very pleasant. i felt so so so frustrated. I felt as if i was the cause of all this unhappiness. I made my mum worry about me all day, my sister is distressed bcuz my mum is stressed, and now my sister's friend is being blamed becuz he didnt fulfill his promise of looking for a house for me.
i was so down i broke down.. imagine my first night there crying to sleep. yea that was what happened.
*feel like I am blogging instead of leaving a comment* LOL
anyhow, things worked out when i went to uni to check out the boards... found a couple of adverts and kept their phone number -> viewed the house the next day -> lucky for me, the 2nd house which i visit turned out to be a good deal, hence i moved in on the same night.
I'm in the same situation as you too. I just wanna live with one friend, looking for 2/3 rooms houses/apartment but it's just so difficult to find a reasonable priced one near uni. sometimes i get so hopeless i have no confidence that we could live together/find a place at all. maybe we would end up not living together and i would have to live somewhere even further than where i lived last semester (i cant go back there anymore as the room has already been rented out...ironically, to a friend of mine whom i recommend to my landlady -_-)
And in regards to your love life, hmm even tho i dunno much, but sometimes i really think a heart2heart or face2face talk can settle everything easily. distance really is a problem huh. i dun even rmb mine being like this when we were together. we had the same "fate" during new year eve... it was something that i wish i could erase from my memory, but even tho the problem is resolved now, i find my thoughts still hovering over that issue every now and then.
sometimes i feel like i'm holding on to something that has no certainty/might not have a future/could bring me tremendous heart break and heartache. love really is complex... i wish i can be more positive, i wish sometimes i can think rationally instead of having to succumb to my heart's desire, which might not be a wise choice.
think i should stop here, things will work its way out in the end ok, dun worry, it did for me, and i'm sure it will, for the both of us! good luck! you're not alone!
Wow, really long comment from CY...it can be even considered a long blogpost!
Anyway, optimism is choice, isn't it? (I make it sound so simple, haha) Put your worries away, don't let the devil take hold of your thoughts! Be reminded of what Lala wrote in her post for New Year's Eve...being thankful for the times where there are mishaps, people who don't see eye to eye with you(often they are parents), and times when you can't get a house. And when the doors get closed or slammed in your face, new doors open, n you'll be more thankful than you'll ever will be. =)
Things WILL work out, so don't worry!
Love,
PQ
Thanks girls..It seems like you two are loyal to my blog comment..Hehe..Thanks a lot..It feels really safe knowing that I'm not alone..
*Huggies*
Late comment from me because long time didn't online ady. Everything will be fine and you are not alone =) +u+u
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